Day minus 3

Well, I have reached the end of the day without a call from the hospital saying my operation has been delayed (I really hope I'm not tempting fate!), so that's pretty good news.  That means that in two days I should be admitted.

Lets rewind a bit... My name is Wayne (aka Dave) and for the past 4 years I have been having orthodontic treatment in preparation for orthognathic surgery.  I didn't expect it to take this long, in fact I thought the whole process would have been done and dusted within 2 and a half years.  Although, I have been blessed with two gorgeous children since my treatment began and time seems to have passed pretty quickly.

So why did I choose to go through all of this?  Well there are lots of reasons but here are the main ones.  Eating.  Anyone who knows me knows I love eating.  I could eat for England.  Trouble is for the last 30 odd years, I have had to eat like a caveman.  Tearing at my food because my teeth don't bite together properly at the front and chewing behind my hands as I'm conscious that I look like Les Dawson chewing a fruit gum.  Besides which my molar teeth only meet on one side which can't be a good thing long term.  Because of the chewing difficulty and the paranoia, I have always swallowed my food as soon as physically possible which can't have done my digestive system much good either.

Smiling.  If I'm honest I'm not such a fan of smiling as I am of eating.  Perhaps that's because I've never been able to do it properly.  Believe me, I have tried but photographs are the worst.  Especially when the person with the camera is either a perfectionist or incompetent.  You know the ones, where you are holding a grin which becomes more and more strained with every passing second.  Well I can't be arsed with that.  I nearly always end up with a straight face in photographs just to avoid a permanent reminder of my unwanted ability to gurn at every joyous occasion.

Anyway, I could go on but I won't.  It's time for the kids to go to bed and I need to indulge in my favourite hobby - eating.  My last curry before I go under the knife (or saw).  I wonder how they'll taste when they're put through the smoothie machine.  For those of you not bored to tears by all of this, I'll try and keep this blog regularly updated and eventually put some photos up.  I'll be as honest as I can be and possibly quite graphic in places but I'll try and keep the bad language to a minimum.

Cheers