Day 10

I'd thought I'd post a message tonight... mainly because I feel I have a duty to the millions of you who read this inspirational account of one man's emotional journey to maxillofacial perfection.  Ok ok so there's no way to make this shit exciting but I suppose it offers a break from the rioting and economic meltdown news stories.

I am so fed up with all of this now.  Before I went through with this, I did loads of reading up on what it would feel like post op, both mentally and physically.  I read endless accounts of people measuring their ever reducing swelling, millimetre by millimetre.  Everyone jumping into bed with each other on internet chat message boards sharing their stories along the lines of "hey don't worry, it's normal to feel down at about day 10, keep going, you can do it" and "wow you look so like amaaaazing in your post op photos".  I thought it was ridiculous.  All these people are just after a tiny crumb of comfort or ego-boost from somebody who might live thousands of miles away and may have had a similar sort of operation... why?

So that wasn't going to happen to me.  I have the support of a very loving family and this is something I've wanted all my life.  I was in the hands of a good surgeon and was fit and healthy.  For me the main issue was going to be the lack of food and drink.... except that it's not.  I have become that person who is now checking for signs of swelling going down every couple of hours.  Examining every minor contour of my face wondering whether that is how it is going to stay or whether it is just swelling.  I even signed up to this jaw surgery forum online! (Although I haven't written anything on there....yet).  I feel more nervous now than I did 11 days ago, wondering what the final results will look like.  Will I have cheeks like Droopy Dog for the rest of my life?  Will I have lips like Leslie Ash after a botox overdose?  Will I ever get any feeling back in my lower face?  I don't know the answer to any of these questions at the moment although those who have visited have promised me that things are improving rapidly.  Bless em.

Tonight, I have had the most intense tingling in my face since the op.  It's not painful but it is a very uncomfortable sensation, throbbing and pins and needles type thing with an occasional electric shock thrown in.  It makes my whole body cringe.  My understanding (based on the weirdos experiences on the internet forums) that this is a good sign, in that it signals the nerves regenerating.  Whether that is true or not I don't know, but it is a damn sight more comforting than thinking that it may be relapse and that my face is gonna fall off within the next 10 minutes.

Back to the dental hospital tomorrow.  I suspect that means one thing.  Elastic bands.  Lots of them.  All pulling in different directions to help the "tweaking".  Ah well, its the home straight I suppose.  Six months and then it should be braces off and smiles all round.  For now, it's back to the soup, mashed potato and trifle all washed down with fizzy cocodamol.  Yum.  I'll let you all get back to your riot updates.